Focusing is a simple and natural process for helping your mind listen to the wisdom of your body, giving you direct access to your own inner compass, where you know the right direction for your life.
What do you get out of Focusing?
- A life skill – which you can use whenever you want to deal with stress or issues. It allows you to know where you are at. It also allows you to be with those parts or somethings so they can feel heard and then they can settle or even show you more.
- A way of allowing and acknowledging whatever comes and accepting yourself just as you are even if something in you is anxious, fearful, sad or even joyful.
- A way of settling and soothing yourself
- A way of being with yourself with an attitude of caring and empathy and not being too hard on yourself
- A way to empower yourself and build resilience.
- A way to enable you to relate in more satisfying ways with your family and friends or at work and school
- A way to enhance your creativity and decision-making,
- A way to resolve conflict and reduce stress
- A way to enable you to move forward if you are “stuck” or struggling with issues
- A way to enable deep and lasting emotional healing.
- A way to connect with your spirituality – mind, body and spirit
There are plenty of common ways of dealing with stress in our life; talking about problems or issues, getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising regularly, learning breathing techniques and relaxation methods including meditation, disputing our negative thoughts, doing things like yoga, using distraction methods. I would always encourage everyone to do any of these things that work for you, as a way to a healthy, fulfilled life.
The quality of our relationship with our self and others is the key to a contented life. I believe we need to find ways to settle and soothe ourselves and to be self compassionate so we can also do the same for others. I also believe we need to lift our awareness of how we walk in the world. We need to find love and forgiveness and gratitude for who we are and who we are becoming (and at times to do the same for others). We all need to give and to receive love, to connect and belong and ultimately to be our authentic self.
Focusing can help us do all these things. It allows us to see we are more than our anxieties and concerns. Focusing gives us a process to be with whatever comes in a friendly, gentle way and to let our inner wisdom guide us to our next forward step.
Focusing is a lifelong way to help people find their own way forward with hope and possibility.
Focusing is a process in which you make contact with yourself with a special kind of internal bodily awareness in which your body lets you know what the crux of the issue is and the next right step to resolve it.
Together we hold the space, you and I. I am just witness and gentle compassionate guide to help you unfold your intuitive wisdom. I believe that we all have a “wise self”.
What happens in a session?
- We have a chat about what issue you want to Focus on and you just share with me your story around this issue.
- With your agreement, I ground you and do a guide in so you are more in your body. You can either lower or close your eyes.
- I invite you to share with me what you find in your “inside place” (usually but not always in your throat, chest and stomach region). Individuals focus in individual ways, however typically, you may notice a bodily sensation or get a sense of the whole of this issue or maybe an image, metaphor, phrase or posture
- I invite you to pause before you tell me. This is allowing the ‘felt sense’ to form. The sense may be hard to describe at first (describing – finding a handle). However, usually if you pause and give yourself time you will be able to start describing what you find.
- I check with you, if it is OK to spend sometime with this “something” you have found. (If it is, we proceed. If it is not we spend some time with the part/something that doesn’t want to spend time here.)
- I will say that description back to you, often using your own words
- I will invite you to check if your description fits, (resonating) sometimes it does and sometimes it does not. If it does not, usually you will be able to give yourself and me more. This allows the felt sense to unfold and the intricacy of what “all this is about” regarding this issue emerges.
- I invite you to say HELLO to this “something you are sensing” and just keep it company with a gentle, friendly presence (and if you can’t be gentle and friendly then maybe just be curious). It may be obvious here that we have a bigger part of you –your compassionate, wise part saying HELLO to another part that represents all that this issue is about. Sometimes, in just saying HELLO we get a little easing.
- I can then invite you to ask this something you find a couple of questions (asking) (We call them process questions). You do not have to answer the questions if they don’t fit or it doesn’t feel right. The session is completely yours and it is your process that we are unfolding. Sometimes we get some insight or a little body easing, a sigh, yawn, big breath or soft tear. (This is a “felt shift” it may be subtle or feel bigger)
- I may then ask you if this is a good stopping place. If it is we allow what we have unfolded to be received. We thank our body, letting ourselves know we can come back here if we need to or something feels unfinished. I then ground you back in your chair, your feet on the floor and invite you to open your eyes when you are ready and rub your hands together.
Get Started with Focusing